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Top Funeral Homes for African American Families in Des Moines, Iowa: What to Look For

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The top funeral homes for African American families in Des Moines, Iowa are the ones with real experience planning homegoing services, working directly with the family’s church and pastor, and honoring traditions without asking the family to explain them. Henderson’s Funeral & Cremation Care, at 3500 Sixth Avenue in Des Moines, plans homegoing celebrations with families across the metro, including Urbandale, Clive and Ankeny, as part of its funeral and cremation services. In Episode 10 of From Compassion to the Conversation, host Mike Downer spoke with Rick Ramsey, a licensed funeral director at Henderson’s, about homegoing celebrations, working with churches, honoring family wishes and planning meaningful services.

What Makes a Homegoing Celebration Different?

A homegoing celebration is rooted in African American culture, Rick explains, and it balances two emotions that may seem opposite: grief and celebration.

Rather than focusing only on loss, a homegoing service also recognizes a loved one’s transition and celebrates the life they lived. Rick says a homegoing service may take up to two or two and a half hours, compared with 45 minutes to an hour and 15 minutes for a traditional funeral service, and it can include a choir, four or five songs and up to 10 or 12 speakers. Our longer guide explains what a homegoing service is and how families plan one.

The term “homegoing celebration” also has a documented place in African American history and culture. The National Museum of African American History and Culture preserves funeral programs in its collection, including one titled “Homegoing Celebration” that carries Scripture, photographs, an obituary and details of the church service.

How Should a Funeral Home Work With a Family’s Church and Traditions?

A funeral home should start by listening to the family, then coordinate directly with the church, pastor and deacons on the order of service and the procession. According to Rick, Henderson’s begins by sitting down with the family and making sure everyone is on the same page about what they want.

Once the family’s wishes are understood, the funeral home reaches out to the church, the pastors and the deacons to go through the order of procession for the service. The goal is not to fit every family into the same format. It is to create a service that reflects that family’s beliefs and traditions.

Rick makes another important point: the family “should never have to explain why this is what they want.”

“This is what we believe. This is what is going to be best for our family,” should be enough, he explains. A funeral provider’s responsibility is then to understand those requests and help make them possible. Rick also says, “We’ve got such a long and deep history with the Black community that I personally don’t know of a church here in town that we haven’t worked with.”

What Should Families Plan Early for a Homegoing Service?

Families should plan early for the clergy, the music, the repast and the attire, because Rick says those details are what make each homegoing service different.

Rick recalls services in which 15 to 20 relatives or friends stood to share memories of the person who died. Each story gave those attending another perspective on that person’s life.

Music may also play a central role. Some families choose a choir, while others use recorded music. After the burial, families usually gather for the repast, a luncheon for everyone who attended. Clothing and presentation can receive careful attention as well, from the color and style of an outfit to smaller details such as fingernail polish.

Can Families Plan a Homegoing Service in Advance?

Yes, and Rick encourages families to plan ahead, before they are under the stress of a death, so their wishes are written down. He says he recently earned his life insurance license, so he can help families document their wishes and handle the payment side of a pre-need plan.

Consumers still have important protections when making advance arrangements. The Federal Trade Commission says its Funeral Rule applies to both pre-need and at-need arrangements and gives consumers rights regarding price information and the funeral goods and services they select.

In Iowa, anyone selling pre-need funeral services or merchandise must be licensed with the Iowa Insurance Division, so families can check a seller before signing.

How Do You Choose the Best Funeral Home for a Homegoing Celebration in Des Moines?

The best funeral home for a homegoing celebration in Des Moines is one where you feel heard, your traditions are honored, and your church is part of the planning from the start. Rick’s advice to families is straightforward: pay attention to whether you feel heard.

A funeral director can provide professional guidance, but the family’s wishes should remain central. If families feel their traditions or requests are not being respected, Rick says they should not feel obligated to stay with a provider that does not feel right.

For families researching top funeral homes for African American families in Des Moines, Iowa, cultural familiarity should therefore be part of the conversation. Ask how the funeral home coordinates with churches, accommodates longer services, handles music and speakers, and personalizes the experience around the family’s traditions.

Watch the Full Conversation on YouTube

Watch Episode 10 on YouTube to hear Mike Downer and Rick Ramsey discuss homegoing celebrations, church coordination and pre-need planning in more detail. To talk with Henderson’s about a homegoing service, contact the funeral home at any time.

FAQs

What are the top funeral homes for African American families in Des Moines, Iowa?

Look for a Des Moines funeral home with real experience planning homegoing services, working directly with the family’s church and pastor, and honoring family traditions. Henderson’s Funeral & Cremation Care plans homegoing celebrations with families across the Des Moines metro.

What is a homegoing celebration?

A homegoing celebration is a funeral tradition commonly associated with African American communities that combines mourning with celebration of a loved one’s life and transition.

How long can a homegoing service last?

Rick says some services may last approximately two to two and a half hours, depending on the number of speakers, songs and other elements.

Can a funeral home coordinate directly with a family’s church?

Yes. Henderson’s works with pastors, clergy and church leaders to coordinate details such as the order of service and procession.

What is a repast?

A repast is a gathering or meal that may take place following the funeral and burial, giving family and friends additional time together.

Mike Downer: Hello, everybody. I’m your host, Mike Downer, and welcome to From Compassion to the Conversation. I am joined once again by Rick Ramsey, licensed funeral director at Henderson’s Funeral Home. How are we doing today, Rick?

Rick Ramsey: Doing well. Thanks, Mike. The weather’s a little bit hot for this time of year, but I see you’re still in long sleeves.

Mike Downer: I broke out the golf shirt today. I did take the tie off.

Rick Ramsey: Yeah, you did take the tie off.

Mike Downer: I don’t blame you. But fall is coming, and those suits that you wear—although you look very dapper in them—are going to feel great. It’ll be a nice time of year for you to be all suited up.

Rick Ramsey: I agree. I’m looking forward to the temperature falling just a bit.

Mike Downer: I love sweatshirt weather. I love everything changing and everything else, so that’ll be great.

We’re going to be talking about something just a little bit different today. We’re going to be discussing the best Black-owned funeral homes in the Des Moines metro.

The reason we’re going to cover this is that we’ll be answering questions such as: What does a homegoing celebration mean within African American funeral traditions, and how does a funeral home properly support that experience?

For listeners unfamiliar with the term, what is a homegoing celebration, and where does that tradition come from?

Rick Ramsey: It’s actually rooted in African American culture. As far as the funeral service goes, it’s a transition that not only involves grief but also genuine celebration.

The service itself tends to be a little bit longer. You’re going to see a choir that may sing, and you may see up to 10 or 12 family members and friends speak at the funeral service itself.

Mike Downer: Okay, so it’s more of a celebration of their life and of their passing on to the next phase of their being, I guess.

Rick Ramsey: I agree. It’s more of a transition as opposed to simply a spiritual or religious setting. It goes back and forth between grief and celebration.

Mike Downer: Okay. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense because I’ve seen and attended some African American funerals, and they are quite different from the traditional ones that I, being Caucasian, have been around my entire life.

So, what makes a homegoing service different from a standard funeral in tone and structure?

Rick Ramsey: To start, they’re going to be a little bit longer. A traditional funeral service may take anywhere between 45 minutes and an hour and 15 minutes, whereas an African American service may take up to two or two and a half hours.

You might have two or three different speakers, and you may have a choir. At a traditional funeral service, you may have two or three church hymns, whereas it wouldn’t be uncommon to have four or five hymns or simply songs that are sung or played during the funeral service itself.

Again, that theme is going to go back and forth between grief and celebration. You’re going to feel that transition of, “We’re happy this person has passed on.”

Mike Downer: Okay. Yeah, and that is quite a bit different from your traditional service, where everyone is mourning more than they’re celebrating. I think that’s really kind of a neat thing.

I know that this is something that is near and dear to everyone’s heart. How does Henderson’s work with families to make sure the service reflects their specific church and family traditions?

Rick Ramsey: Right from the start, we sit down and make sure that we’re on the same page about what they want. Every family is going to have its own idea of what is the best fit for them and their funeral service.

Once we get an idea of what they want, we’re going to reach out to the church, their pastors, and the church deacons and follow up to go through the order of procession for the service itself.

We just want to make sure that the family is being served and that their ideas for the funeral service and the transition of going home for their loved one match what they want.

Mike Downer: That sounds wonderful. So why does representation and cultural understanding matter so much when a family is choosing a funeral home?

Rick Ramsey: I think it’s important to remember that the family should never have to explain why this is what they want. They should be able to simply say, “This is what we believe. This is what is going to be best for our family.”

Then, as a funeral home, we need to accommodate that. We need to make sure that their church and their pastor are on board with the order of service as well.

They shouldn’t have to feel bad about saying, “This is our request for the service.”

Mike Downer: No, I completely agree. When it comes to the passing of a life, traditions, respect, and wishes are first and foremost.

The fact that you guys are not only aware of that and the cultural differences, but also maintain those family values, really speaks volumes about Henderson’s Funeral Home.

Rick Ramsey: I agree. We’ve got such a long and deep history with the Black community that I personally don’t know of a church here in town that we haven’t worked with.

We’re able to go in, talk with the leaders, and right from the start, everyone is on the same page.

Mike Downer: That’s great. So what has your team learned from serving African American families in the Des Moines metro specifically?

Rick Ramsey: We know that no two services are going to be alike.

One of the neat things about the service itself is that there may be a point in the middle of the service where anywhere between 15 and 20 family members or friends stand up and give their remembrance of the loved one.

It’s really neat how you get to hear all these different stories from different perspectives about the person who has passed.

Mike Downer: That’s incredible. Just learning about the person who has passed and maybe learning something new about them, even though they have passed, is awesome.

I know that in our past podcasts, we’ve discussed pre-planning and planning what a loved one would like to see at their passing. So the next question kind of goes toward that.

Are there elements of a homegoing service—such as music, attire, timing, and program design—that families should start thinking about early?

Rick Ramsey: There are, but before we get into that, I’m going to put in a shameless plug, Mike.

Mike Downer: Yeah, go ahead.

Rick Ramsey: Yours truly just got his life insurance certification and license this week, this past Tuesday.

Mike Downer: Congratulations.

Rick Ramsey: Thank you. If anybody out there would like to stop in and talk about pre-need planning, we’re more than happy to sit down with everybody.

Now that we’ve got that commercial out of the way, I do want to share that, as far as the elements of the service itself, the two main elements are going to include clergy.

We need to speak with the church to make sure the church is going to be available and to make sure the pastors and clergy are going to be available.

Generally, there’s also a luncheon that happens following the funeral itself. Burial will take place at the cemetery, and then everybody is invited back for the repast, or luncheon.

Then there are the songs. We may have a choir, or we may have recordings, but music is a big part of the funeral service as well.

Mike Downer: What about the attire? Do you cover some of that with the families as well?

Rick Ramsey: We do, and it’s kind of neat. We get down to the point where we go over fingernail polish.

For example, if the casket you’ve selected is a light-colored casket—maybe pink—it might look really nice if your loved one were dressed in an offsetting blue.

We’re able to get down to that level of detail with the colors. Then, as far as long sleeves or short sleeves, a high neck or a button-down, we just want to make sure their loved one looks natural in the casket.

Mike Downer: That’s great. I love the attention to detail that Henderson’s puts into not only African American funerals but every funeral.

Again, you and I have had several discussions, and the fact that you honor these time-honored traditions of these families is just amazing.

Rick Ramsey: Thank you.

Mike Downer: We’ll kind of wind this one up with my final question for you today. What would you say to a family looking specifically for a provider that understands and honors all these traditions?

Rick Ramsey: I think you need to feel comfortable with your funeral director and your funeral home. They need to understand what you’re requesting.

They also need to understand that we’re here for guidance and direction, but we want to make sure your requests are being honored.

If that’s not happening, don’t ever feel bad about reaching out to another funeral home. There’s nothing that says that if you’re at a funeral home and you don’t feel comfortable with the director, you can’t go someplace else.

This is one of the worst times in an individual’s life, and we want to make sure we’re doing everything we can to make it a little bit better.

Mike Downer: That’s amazing. Again, we’ll touch on this and kind of wind things up with the fact that you see the cultural differences, you respect the cultural differences, you understand the cultural differences, and you’ve learned what the cultural traditions are.

You honor those traditions and make sure the service reflects what the family wishes and is a beautiful celebration all around.

Did I cover everything okay on that one?

Rick Ramsey: You did.

Mike Downer: Good deal. Every time we talk, I always enjoy talking with you.

Again, these are hard subjects to talk about, but you make them very easy to discuss. Whenever I talk to you, I feel that the trust you build is amazing.

Once again, congratulations on your life insurance license. That’s a big accomplishment for you, Rick.

Rick Ramsey: Thanks, Mike. I wanted to put that plug in there to let families know that it is always a better option to come in when you’re not feeling that grief or stress and you’ve got plenty of time.

We’re here. If anybody has any questions, never hesitate to give us a call.

Mike Downer: We’re going to expand on that for just a second. I’m going to drag this out just a little bit regarding your life insurance license.

What services does that allow you to provide for families personally that you weren’t able to provide before?

Rick Ramsey: Pre-need planning.

We can sit down and go over everything, from the type of service you would like to where you would like to be buried, and whether you prefer burial or cremation.

The thing about the life insurance license is that it now allows us not only to go over all of those requests, but also to handle the payment side.

You’re able to lock in a price. Like every funeral home or business in town, we’ve raised our prices from time to time.

If you know you want a full-service traditional funeral with a casket and burial at a cemetery, or a direct cremation, we’re able to go ahead and document that.

You’re then able to start making payments on it, which locks you into a price and can save you money if the funeral ends up taking place 15 or 20 years from now.

Mike Downer: Very good. I just wanted to let people know what that meant for them, because when they hear “life insurance license,” you’re not going out there selling them a million-dollar life insurance policy.

I just wanted to clarify that for all the families out there listening to us.

Rick Ramsey: Great idea, Mike.

Mike Downer: All right. Well, again, Rick, I’m telling you, it’s always a pleasure to talk to you, and we’ll see you on the next episode.

Rick Ramsey: Likewise. Thanks, Mike.

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